Log in

No account? Create an account
21 November 2012 @ 07:53 pm
The True Meaning of Brutality (Andrew, PG)  
One for last week, really... (very silly)

Title The True Meaning of Brutality
Author Bruttimabuoni
Rating PG
Word Count 380
Prompt originally at still_grrr 137 (Never Leave Me: the interrogation of Andrew. Technically two scenes, but what the heck)
Characters/Pairing (if any) Andrew, Xander, Anya
A/N: Substantial portions of the dialogue come from the BtVS episode Never Leave Me, written by Drew Goddard. Some have been tampered with, Andrewishly.

SCENE: a small suburban bedroom A police cell, downtown Chicago somewhere. A man sits, brutally shackled to a chair. He is tense, but unafraid. He will face what is to come.


ENTER: two surprisingly attractive police persons: SHE-DETECTIVE and HE-DETECTIVE. We will come to know them as BAD COP and GOOD COP respectively.

BAD COP: brutally destroys OUR HERO’s prized possession, the only vestige of his most treasured lost relationship. So fleeting, but so beloved.

COPS: *ask questions, are mean*

OUR HERO: I fell in love with a beautiful vampire girl down in Me-hi-co. Now we're trying to make a go of it on the straight and narrow, and put our lives back together here in Sunnydale.

COPS: *sneer*

BAD COP: You think this is a game, junior?

BAD COP: *brutally manhandles OUR HERO*, punching him repeatedly.

OUR HERO is saved by GOOD COP, who drags BAD COP away from his bloodied body.





GOOD COP: *is really sympathetic about the brutal beating*

OUR HERO: Your colleague is so brutal.

GOOD COP: She's killed a lot of men. She tortures them. Anyone who incurs her wrath. One time she— No, never mind.


GOOD COP: No, never mind?

OUR HERO: What did she do?

GOOD COP: she rips men to pieces for fun. Brutally. She took this one apart like he was Lego. Little plastic bricks everywhere. Except, those were not real bricks. She rubbed his face in his own intestines. And she laughed. Oh, how she laughed. And she’ll do the same to you.

OUR HERO: I am an innocent man.


BAD COP: You lying son of a bitch! You're gonna tell us what we need to know, and you're gonna tell us right now!

BAD COP: *commits more brutality*

GOOD COP: *intervenes*

BAD COP: *is brutal to GOOD COP too OMG*

BAD COP: Now, you can talk, or I can keep hitting him. Believe me, I'd love to keep hitting him.

OUR HERO: Stop! I cannot allow you to hurt this brave and innocent man. I will tell you what is within my power to reveal.

ENTER: the LOST RELATIONSHIP PERSON who vestiges were so brutally destroyed earlier in this piece.

LRP: Surprise! *embraces OUR HERO*


slaymesoftlyslaymesoftly on November 21st, 2012 09:25 pm (UTC)
LOL Only in Andrew's brain, only in Andrew's brain...
waddiwasiwitchwaddiwasiwitch on November 22nd, 2012 01:42 am (UTC)
Oh Andy.. He he I just adore Andrew.
Barbrahirah on November 22nd, 2012 05:10 am (UTC)
Andrew is... um. Yeah. That!
Butterflysnogged on November 26th, 2012 12:55 am (UTC)
This is so perfectly Andrew.